Oh covfefe! The TSA is at it again. Airport officials noted that lines were moving too quickly, so the “security” agency announced new checkpoint rules, just to keep us on our toes.
“Please Take Potential Explosives Out Of Your Bags…”
Add your smaller electronics to the list of items that need to come out of your bag as the TSA looks for more invented threats.* Over the next several weeks, the TSA will be phasing in regulations that make you remove any electronics larger than a cell phone from your bag and place it in a tray by itself. According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:
The increased security measures come amid a potential threat from explosives that can be hidden inside electronics. During training of TSA officers from across the country at a federal facility in Brunswick, GA, the trainees are taught that some explosives are as thin as a sheet and can be disguised as a letter in an envelope. They can be liquid or solid, granules, powder or have the texture of cake frosting.
Paper and powder and cake frosting oh my! If that’s the case, I’m staying away from office supply stores. I already knew the danger of frosting,** but didn’t realize that libraries are full of potential explosives. And while I have no doubt that the two week boot camp that new TSOs attend (I think it’s really cute that they get to pretend to be soldiers and recite their mission statement every day. That occurs sometime between nap time and Duck Duck Goose.) teaches them everything they need to know about identifying a bomb hidden in my iPad, I’ve gotten tired of this agency that seems to exist for the sole purpose of self-perpetuation.
The plus side to all of this (or at least the lack of a downside): There’s no indication that the new policy will apply to pre-check travelers.
*Truthfully, I have no idea whether a Kindle could be turned into a bomb. I imagine it could. What I do know, though, is that the TSO inspecting your bag isn’t going to be the one to catch it and the whole procedure will distract employees from the search for more dangerous items, like shampoo.
**On the plus side, these cupcakes (the munitions in question) are the best damned cupcakes I’ve ever eaten and will likely be on my “last meal list” if I ever find myself on death row.Want to subscribe? Just enter your email in the box above (and to the right) and click on the confirmation. GMailers, check your Social or Promotions boxes!
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